Song of Solomon 5

Unless you think love is all roses and sweet feelings, think again. One of the beauties of this book of the Bible is that it presents love in a truly realistic way—not as a fantasy, but as a real exchange between two people, incorporating highs and lows, thrills and frustrations. And, how does true love respond to this reality? More specifically, what is the response of true love when it is rebuffed? That is the subject of this chapter.

The beloved, Solomon, has come to the house of the maiden late at night. He knocks, and she hears him as he calls out to her: “Open to me, my sister, my darling, my dove, my flawless one. My head is drenched with dew, my hair with the dampness of the night.” (vs 2) To me, this was highly reminiscent of the picture in Revelation 3 of Jesus standing at the door of our hearts and knocking.

And, incredibly, the maiden does not get up immediately to open the door! “I have taken off my robe—must I put it on again? I have washed my feet—must I soil them again?” (vs 3) Wow! What happened to those feelings of lovesickness from the previous chapters? What happened to the vow of doing anything to be with her beloved? Somewhere, somehow the bloom disappeared from this love-rose.

Was it some hidden, harbored resentment that kept the maiden from going quickly to the door? Was it an attempt to “control” the relationship? (Hmph! I’ll show him that I don’t have to jump every time he calls!) Or was it simple laziness or self-indulgence? Regardless, the fact of the matter was that by the time the maiden decided to drag herself out of bed and answer the door, her beloved was gone.

And what did she find instead? “I arose to open for my beloved, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the bolt.” (vs 5) Dr. Craig Glickman, author of Solomon’s Song of Love, explains: “He simply left her a ‘love note’ and then went away. In their culture, a lover would leave this fragrant myrrh at the door as a sign that he had been there.”

Incredible. The response of the beloved, upon being rejected in the middle of the night by his lover, was not frustration or anger or stubborn insistence. It was a display of love. And, in this story, his unassuming display of love ended up awakening a love response from his maiden. She went out in search of her beloved, determined to find him, most likely filled with deep regret at not having opened the door for him sooner.

This principle of love is not only instructive for married couples as they weather storms of resentment and anger in their relationships; it also speaks to us of the response of God (who is true Love) when He is rejected. When we refuse to open the door, He will not beat it down or force His way in. He will, instead, leave us evidence of His love and give us time and space to consider our decision.

If love is true, it does not seek to destroy the beloved because it has not gotten what it wants! Thus, neither does God destroy those whom He loves with an everlasting love when they have not made the choice He wants. While there is still time to consider and reconsider, He will cover the door handle with myrrh, letting us know He was there and that He loves us, letting us know that He is not angry with us, letting us know that He will return.

God does not punish those who reject Him, but neither will He force His way into our hearts. If we want to continue to enjoy the company of the One we love, we must open the door!